This is for the woman who is ready, but weary. You're ready for your soulmate. But... because of the past hurts, experiences, and observations... you're weary of men.
A part of you fears that the men you meet are underhanded, narcissistic, perverted and only looking out for one thing: themselves. You feel like the good men, who are ready to take responsibility for others out of the goodness of their hearts, are rare. And your perception is justified.
You've been objectified. and let down. and abandoned right after a man had done "just enough" to make you feel safe and wanted. You've felt tricked before, even if you don't like admitting it. And you're committed to never finding yourself back in that painful place. ever again.
You're protective over yourself, now. You're serious about who you allow into your world, now. You want love and companionship– but not from just anyone. You know what you don't want. And you feel frustrated because it seems like there's an abundance of men who are... exactly what you don't want.
In romance, you’re defensive. You’re guarded. You're afraid that a man might gain the upper hand over you. or that he might hurt you if you show that you need him. You don't ever show vulnerability. Because that’s not safe.
Here's what I know for sure: being defensive and guarded is not the same as being safe and protected. In fact, those two experiences are not mutually exclusive at all. Sure, you can be defensive and guarded while being safe and protected… but while being defensive and guarded… you’re being left alone.
Never letting anyone get close enough to hurt you just boils down to never letting anyone get close. Sure, they can’t hurt you. But they can’t love you, either.
And I get it. You’re scared.
Scared of being hurt.
Backstabbed.
Betrayed.
Abandoned.
Let down.
You're scanning everything looking for threats. His behaviors. His words. His reactions. You find yourself seeking and searching for a sign that danger might be present. And you always find something wrong. You find something to hate in every man who comes into your world. You find something to dislike. You find something that can be perceived as a threat. You find something to become offended by. Your Reticular Activating System makes sure of that.
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You're so afraid of being hurt that you're pushing men away. More specifically, you're so afraid of being hurt that you're pushing your soulmate away because you don't have room for a trustworthy man in your life.
You want love. You want connection. You’re a human being. You were made to move in groups. To function in community. To be loved and supported and seen. And as a woman, a Divine Feminine, you were made to be protected and provided for by God, the world at large, and men.
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In order to do that, you've got to drop your defense. You've got to use your power as a Divine Feminine to create a world where you're surrounded and supported by trustworthy men, including your soulmate. To support you with this important task, I'm hosting a free, 3 day live event.
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Come hang out with me each morning at 10:00 AM PST from June 3rd to June 5th, 2024 where I'll be helping you to drop the defense and show up for your love life with an open heart; ready to expect and receive an amazing man.
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Replays to this event are now available as a bonus bundle in the Love After Loss course.
Here's The Plan:
Day 1: Drop The Defense
Right now, you’re in protective mode– this means, you approach men from the assumption that they are dangerous. It’s understandable based on your lived experience, and the history of womankind. Yet, as understandable as it is, it’s still dysfunctional.
In your energy, mind, and heart, you’ve got a powerful sword out; and you are warning any man not to come any closer, or else. Personally, I like swords. I’ve got an arsenal of them, myself. However, healthy relationships aren’t started on threats of harm. Defensiveness is not conducive to relationship growth. Instead of walking around the world with your sword out, ready to fight so you don’t have to get ready, let me show you another way.
On Day 1, you will learn to drop your defense without fully abandoning your ability to protect yourself. We’re talking about the skill of discernment, and the healing you’ve got to do in order to develop it fully. But this isn't your mama's discernment training– we're talking about energetic discernment through feminine embodiment. In other words, you'll learn to reply on your energy to do the deciphering for you, so that you can show up with a positive expectation in love without the fear of having the wool pulled over your eyes or the rug pulled out from under you.
Day 2: Vulnerability Is The Cure
You absolutely can do it all by yourself, but that life experience is not the best feeling one available. In fact, that life experience leaves you feeling hardened, resentful, and burnt out. You [will] do so much for your community, your man, and your family. Without vulnerability, you will not ever allow them to pour back into you. You won't expect it. You won't believe that they can support you in any meaningful way, nor will you believe that they even want to.
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As a consequence of these unsupportive assumptions, you’re creating a life where it’s you versus the world, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You're done living a life where it's all on you. Being vulnerable about who you are and what you need is the only way to create a world where you are seen, supported, and taken care of.
During day 1, you dropped your defensiveness. Today, you'll learn the importance of vulnerability and how you best serve your soulmate, family, and community by needing support. In this training, you’ll learn what life looks like as the deeply supported woman who allows herself to be provided for by men (and people) who love her. You deserve a replenished life, where you can call on others, trusting that they will show up to support and care for you. You’ve learned to soften, now it’s time to learn how to receive.
Day 3: Trusting The Trustworthy man
You’re fears are right. Not all men are trustworthy. And it’s a good thing you have powerful intuition as a Divine Feminine, isn't it? You don't need all men to be trustworthy– you need to be a woman who exclusively expects and experiences trustworthy men. Do you believe that that's possible? Your answer to that question is a reflection of your beliefs are about men, your power, and what's available to you in life.
Vulnerability is the cure to the wall you’ve built up around your heart and mind: and that requires trust. Let’s learn how to build that. During day 3, we will be discussing how to begin trusting men and leading with an open heart in your interactions with them. You’ll learn the qualities and characteristics of a trustworthy man; and how to build trust in your soulmate, even before you know who he is.